Kish's Journal
by MixDream
Summary: Things begin to take a stunning downfall as go from worse to impossible, followed by a turn of events that lead Kish to take his own life... This is the journal he left behind.   Based off of Jay's Journal. R&R 5 Reviews New Chapter


**This is my first Fanfiction submission, please excuse any errors.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Tokyo Mew Mew in any way shape or possible form.**

**Rated T for drama and dark things and other themes.**

**January 1****st**** 2004**

Hey you stupid journal, Im surprised I remembered you, God I haven't written in here sense I pulled you out of that package from home. My day completely sucked, we lost another battle to the Mew Mews. Even Ichigo was madder than usual. PMS is all I want to say! Or maybe I interrupted one of her 'oh so important' dates with that Aoyama-twit, eh who knows.

Anyways I planned something brilliant! I mean absolutely brilliant! I don't even know how it didn't work; it was just that damn brilliant! Of course though, something went wrong, Im betting Tart snitched to that Yellow Monkey mew or something because they were fully ready to counter every attack and did it without a slip up! UGH, it's so annoying sometimes, stupid animal girls.

I don't even know why this is getting to me so much. My ass is dragging the ground now. I just hope Pai can come up with a fool proof plan before Deep Blue has another fit and anger and sends my dragging ass to the Butcher's House. I'm not ready to die yet from that bastard.

I gotta get going, Lights out time.

Happy Fuckin' New Year.

-Irritated, Kisshu

**January 14****th**** 2004**

Wow I almost forgot you again; you sat enough time to get dust all over you. I'm only writing in you this time because my days just seem to go from bad to **worse**. Pai says it's just puberty. Puberty my ass. He also thinks that it would be good for me to write in here every day about my 'feelings' to unleash my inner darkness or some mumbo jumbo. How can a complete nerd like him end up being such a dumbass on this subject!

It feels like hells coming down on me, everything hurts…even to the tips of my fingers…I can't even figure out why it hurts so bad, maybe Im crazy…? Maybe Im over dramatic…? Maybe Im just a screw ball waiting to happen…

Ichigo said she hated me…It hurt too, mainly because I was just trying to talk to her and she told me to go away and that she never ever wanted to see my 'ugly' face again. I don't understand….

I feel so trapped, like there's no such thing as a painkiller for this agony I feel inside that I can't even begin to explain in a rational term. Yesterday I was so happy I could've been on top of the world, now it just feels like Im the fat chick at the bottom of a cheerleading pyramid. Did that just fly out on the paper?

I hope things start looking up soon…I've never felt so pained before in my life…Maybe it's a onetime thing?

Jesus I hope so.

I wouldn't be able to take much of this mess, now I know what Pai feels like when he goes into an 'Emo' state, and why he locks his door when he's upset about something or stressing out.

Ugh, Gotta go again. Taruto won't leave me alone. Him and that stupid yellow mew.

-In Pain, Kisshu.

**January 22****nd**** 2004**

Things are looking a little up since the last time I wrote in you, I met a human girl that's not afraid of me. Her name's Yumiko, plus she's like NOT ugly! I can't even describe how amazing she is, she was willing to hang around me and actually talk to me… It felt good to have a friend that feels like I do, she's nice to me. She understands me and doesn't judge me because Im not 'human' or whatever prejudice crap everyone starts.

It's nicer now; I don't hurt so badly that Im not alone. Just one thing I'd like as a bit of a present!

A bit of god damn privacy that I NEED to hide you, the attic didn't work so well with the mice and what not.

Heh, gotta go meet Yumiko at the park, killing the humans will have to wait!

Have fun under the bed you dusty old thing!

-Kisshu

**January 27****th**** 2004**

Well that friendship was short ass lived! Oh well I'll get over it, I met another human that's 'okay'. His name, yes HIS. Is Takao, he's cool just a little strange rambling on and on about Auras and mental healing and other freakish stuff that I can't even do. He took the liberty of 'showing' me his 'powers'.

It's odd because it actually WORKED! He managed to heal that damn scar that I got from Aoyama-twit, he put his back hand over it and went 'ahhhh'…I guess I wasn't thinking because I did it too. I looked when I got home and sure enough that scar was gone! Still I just hope he wasn't pranking me or some shit. Then I don't even know what I would do.

I'm just glad that scar is gone, thank you god for insane people like Takao!

-Purged Kisshu!

**This is a possible continuing story!**

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